Then, in 1992, that frightening call from you, Jackie. Something was terribly wrong with Steve. He suddenly had a horrible headache. He couldn't read. Seeing Steve that evening at Alta Bates -- listening to his soft but perfectly cogent explanation to the neurologist about what had happened. And then, the doctor reached into his shirt pocket, held up a pen and asked: "Steve, what is this?" Steve knew, he knew, just a minute . . . but he couldn't quite get it. I'll never forget that.
And here I pause and think back at what might have been in 1992. That was 20 years ago.
Another good friend who started at Morrison at the same time Steve and I began -- Darrell Sackl -- wrote the following in response to my note informing him of Steve's passing:
"Peter, thank you for the message about Steve. I was away for a few days and was not checking my email. As I have traveled this road and lost along the way a number of relatives and good friends who died too early in their lives, I've come to learn to focus on the blessings in their lives in order to make the pain more bearable. When I first learned what had happened to Steve decades ago, I thought he would not live long and perhaps be bedridden. I think I told you that my best friend and roommate during law school had a brother who was five years older. The brother had graduated from the University of Illinois law school and was practicing at a firm in Chicago where they were raised. During our first semester of law school, my friend's brother had occur to him what happened to Steve. He was rushed to the hospital, but lived only 12 hours. He was already married, had one child, and his wife was pregnant with their second child. The brother's wife and parents were told that, if he had lived, he would likely never have regained consciousness. Peter, I am trying to focus on and remember today that Steve did get back on his feet, that Steve, as you often told me, seemed to enjoy life fully, and that he was able to enjoy for decades more Jackie and their children -- and see his children grow up. I am sure this is not comforting today to Steve's family, but I do believe it will be comforting to them in the coming years."
That thought is comforting to me.
Because I know just how lucky I was. We all were. We were able to share that wonderful period of our lives as growing young families. It doesn't get more precious than that.
Steve turned misfortune into all of our grace. He had so much room in that vast mind and heart.
Yes, now it is terribly sad. Now the loss still feels unbearable. Jackie, Alicia, Nick, Lizzie, Bruce, Lynn, Ursula -- he adored you. He was so proud of all of you. Our hearts go out to you.
But we are grateful to have had the blessing -- for so many wonderful years -- of Steve's uncommon intelligence, humor, wisdom and sweetness.
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