Compliments

I learned early on that fishing for compliments from Steven, or even for mild reassurance about some perceived physical flaw, was not going to turn out well.  He used these as opportunities to pull my chain whenever possible. 

So here’s an example:  Steven had listened to a novel by Tom Wolfe called Bonfire of the Vanities about Wall Street types.  One part of the story makes a big deal about the allure of vibrant, full-bodied, juicy, exotic and slightly messy younger women, as opposed to the wives of the banking moguls, who starved themselves to within an inch of their lives and whose skinny, dried-up, severely-tailored, harpy-ish selves were ubiquitous at  NY parties.  Wolfe coined the term “social x-rays” for these women.  So as I was reading that part of the book one night, I turned to Steven and asked, “Esteban, am I a social x-ray?”   His reply:   “Well . . . you’re not social.”   

It is actually my recounting of this story to Mary Murphy that first made her love Steven.