Another classic

Sometimes, you would call my dad, and this is how he'd pick up:

Morton's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!

Plaques, Bathrooms, Posterity

My dad had a serious affinity for weird signs.  Coupled with his absurd follow through on any joke, it has produced some strange things around our house.

(Seriously, you might joke about how the mirror over the toilet in the new bathroom is an awkward height for a urinating man, but my dad actually wrote and taped up the sign "Objects in mirror are larger than they appear.")

He got really into this one webpage of strange signs from around the world.  The strangest one, words don't really do it justice--you can see below.  He fell so in love with it that he commissioned one.   It now sits on the driveway heading down the hill from Kenwood, confusing/entertaining everyone who leaves.

He also really loved anything that was posted for posterity, particularly when he could have his own to mock it.  One of his favorite gifts from Lizzy:

Another joke with excellent follow through:  after looking at East Coast schools with Lizzy, my dad got completely into all the plaques declaring Washington had eaten at one place or Jefferson had picked his nose at another.  He came home raving about how incredibly silly and wonderful they were, and said he wanted one for Kenwood.  The "Washington slept here" one Lizzy got him is outside our front door there now.  (His kids have learned joke follow through too).

And this final one is just a window into the man's whole ethos.  

Hi Bill,

I have been going to Berkeley Rep since God was a pup, but for some reason had never used the mens room in the new theater until last Saturday night.  Imagine my surprise to see that it was called the William Falik Memorial Mens Lounge. And you're not even dead yet.

May I buy the naming rights for one of the urinals from you? I think it's all I can probably afford. I was thinking of a discreet brass plaque right above it:

"Steven Dantzker pissed here."

Steve